* GRACE * FAITH * HOPE * JOY *

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Yes, He is HOME!!!

I am sorry for the delay in posting. I have so much to fill in and update you all about but since I have not had a moment it seems I think I will just jump over my perfectionistic tendencies and discipline myself to start where I am. Here. Today. I will fill in the gaps later.

But Yes, He is HOME!!! YAAAAY!

You know? I had no idea how therapeutic writing on this blog would become. I also had no idea anyone would miss it. Thank you to all who have asked me to continue.
 I have been feeling the Lord's tug on my heart to keep sharing this way but I have been reeling a bit since my Trucker got home. I still don't think I have anything together or in order.... especially my mind.

Today however, I am being blessed with a short get-away. I am going in just a few minutes to meet a friend for a 2 night / full day of solitude and reflection. Boy do I need this.
I don't even know which way is up at this moment.
I am planning on using this time to sit quietly and
pour out my heart to the Lord and sit quietly as I wait on Him to fill me up.

Honestly, I usually find such filling from just doing the seemingly mundane day to day things. I believe God gives special grace to mothers and those who are with young.

He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm, And carry them in His bosom, And gently lead those who are with young.
Isaiah 40:11

I have tried from the beginning of my journey through motherhood and marriage to keep myself from expecting this kind of special "ME time". This is such a self centered attitude. I have also refrained from trying to manufacture or manipulate my way to get it. God has so faithfully met me right where I am, over and over again. As I seek to please Him in all I do He so graciously rewards me and blesses me.

This is the sweet family just days before.
 It is so awesome to come in to a room to see that your children have lit candles and drawn you a hot bath; or for your husband to come in the door one evening, place a $20 bill in your hand and say "Get out! Have a good time, I've got this."
In my case it was just the "GET OUT!" part, but I knew what he meant; me being 9 months pregnant and my almost 2 yo boy having smeared poop all over the walls in his bedroom that afternoon.
Yea, one of those stellar days that most of us would naturally want to scream " Calgone!!! take me away!"
But I didn't have to. Now, don't think for a moment that I get those sweet amazing unexpected treats every time I have a bad day.

Far from it!

BUT... it is the unexpected part..... the fact that my God gives me joy and peace in all that Poop, literally, that renews me and keeps me going. Choosing to have a thankful heart in the midst of all this mess.........Boy am I a hypocrite! I fail so much. Especially lately. I think that is why I am getting away today and it just happens to be working out that I actually get to go. Fill me Lord.... Forgive me..... I am so thankful.... please help me be even more thankful........ in ........ the ......... moment.

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