almost a teenager

A godly girl trying to live a godly life can be so lonely sometimes. Even with a house full of people it can be difficult to know how you fit in to society. We all desire to be accepted and liked by more than just our personal family. I hate to say 'just' but let's be real, that is how we feel sometimes. I can't tell you how many times I told my mom, "I know you love me mom, but don't have any friends. I really want a friend! Someone who likes me and wants to spend time with me. Someone I can trust, who wont say they are my friend today and eat lunch with me but tomorrow go off with someone else and tease me expose everything I shared the day before."

I was a very lonely child.

 I was the kid who ate her lunch with her best friend (the school principal, Mr. Clay Dunaway) in the safety of the school office, even when he wasn't there.

The one who got beat up, literally. One of the times, on the school play ground, while a girl who came to my birthday party a short time before was the lookout to make sure the yard duty worker couldn't see!

The child who ran home from school in the middle of the day crying (thankfully we lived just a few blocks from the school) and when asked "Why didn't you just hit her back?!?" would not be able to answer. I just couldn't understand why or how someone would be so unkind?!

 I knew Jesus and had asked him into my heart when I was 5 years old. I asked him to be the Lord of my life and He said to love everyone. I knew he died for me and even at that young age, I knew he suffered more than I was. He said to turn the other cheek.... so I did. Why were my parents and older brothers (who are amazing godly examples by the way) asking me such a question? I couldn't understand it. These experiences continued sporadically through Jr. High.

I should have been home-schooled. 

My mom knows that now and we agree, but around my sophomore year in high school when she was contemplating it, I was already following the path God had laid before me and He was blessing it.

I don't regret not being home-schooled.  My Mom was amazing and did all she knew to do to protect me, but as we see through scripture over and over again; (What the devil meant for harm, God used for his glory). I am no Joseph of Egypt, but God has used my painful and lonely school years to make me the person I am today. He allowed those circumstances to happen in order to deepen my relationship with him and to show himself to me in such a tangible way as a child, that I could never be swayed as an adult. I know He is faithful. He is my best friend and through those circumstances I began to rely upon him as my true friend. I learned what true friendship really is. I learned how to BE a friend and expect nothing in return. To love unconditionally as he did. I read His words and knew He was talking to me, personally, as He is to everyone who seeks Him.

Sometimes being a 12 year old girl can be very lonely. My sweet daughter shared her heart with me yesterday and I am so thankful for her openness. I pray she will seek the comfort she needs from the Lord and receive the acceptance from Him as her truest and closest friend. As she matures thru the pain of loneliness I know she will develop a sensitivity and compassion for others that she could not have without having experienced this. As we suffer with Christ we are transformed more and more into His likeness. I love her and I know she knows it. I am excited for her to learn how to be there for others. But more importantly I am excited to see her grow closer to the Lord. She is never alone and never will be. Just knowing that can be helpful, but sometimes, you really just want a friend. Our Lord and I are here for her.

~I wrote this post about 2 years ago. That same teenager is now pushing 15 and I am happy to say she has many friends. It is so sweet to know we serve a God who cares so tenderly for us and meets our every need. Thank you Lord!

Our Anniversary!

Today is my Anniversary! 

Home made card from our 12 year old Daughter. I am very impressed.

this is the inside.

My husband and I find ourselves in different towns but still, with the same heart. 
After 22 years of marriage it is again, on a Monday like the first time, we remember that we choose to Love through ALL.... thru audits and law suits, joyful new life and child birth, illness and sorrow, peaceful down time and crazy surprise full house parties, false accusations and worry, quiet moments, threats and job loss, and the waiting...... Patiently waiting on the Lord.


He is working hard! 

A new skill to refine. He is a Construction worker this season.....

Trucking.... Construction...... I wonder what will be next?

 He is so faithful. My sweet man. 

He is steady,     like the constant ticking of a clock.  

My mom told me he would be. "We all have our faults. But he is faithful, Maggie! You can count on that. He is a faithful man" she said. 

And so he has proven to be, again and again.

 Not holding back. He does the hard things to provide for his family. 
Stays home and works so we can take a family field trip across country. (We had no idea it would turn into such a trip.)
 He stays in Santa Barbara to work daily so we can pay our mortgage and a few other bills.

 Things have not always worked out the way we would have wanted or planned, but we are in the Lords hands and so, willing to do whatever He asks. 

We have so much fun together! I am so glad we like each other so much! 

We are so grateful he is close, 

not in some god-forsaken truck stop wondering what special family event he is missing out on, 

....again. 

Nana & Papa feel like far-off names at this moment, but this is our hope and a sweet gift from our daughter.

What a blessing it is to have work. 

Physical labor. 
 
He sweats and steps on another nail. 

Lifts another beam into place and remembers that he is building a family. That God is using him to build a strong family for His glory.
 
Pouring ourselves into the lives of our children, guiding them to live their lives for the only one who deserves their attention and affection, our God almighty. 


I love schooling these children. Every moment I spend with them ties my heart closer and closer to each one. 


We graduated our second daughter this June....

 A beautiful event.... but even when it was all over..........I am not done! 

Are we ever done? 

I know my mom is not done with me yet and I am 41, 22 years married with 10 children!

I know why. 

Our Lord is not done with us!

As long as I have breath in my lungs, I will be called to speak His Love and Truth into their lives. 

I am not needed to be their disciplinarian anymore, but a Sister in Christ. A co-laborer for our Lord. I want to encourage and edify them as I would any other friend, with respect and patience.


I Love You Honey! I wouldn't want to be with anyone else on this journey called life. I just can't stop thanking God for you!!! Every year with you gets better and better. We don't use finances or things or circumstances to measure our progress and joy in marriage, it is measured by the peace and oneness that only our God can give us. 

Praise Him! 

And Thank you.